Rejection is not failure; it's feedback.

     I applied to a casting call for a spokes model position for an online supplement store. I needed to memorize lines, and I would be prompted to speak as if I was speaking with a potential customer, which would be simulated when a customer visited the website. I was a bit surprised when they called me in, as they were asking for a blonde; but without hesitation I let them know I would be there with a skip in my step.

     As always, I was 30 minutes early to the audition; checked in with the secretary at the front and waited for my turn. Sitting in the waiting room, I cracked open my third meal of the day, hoping I can get some food in my stomach before the audition. Literally as the hard-boiled egg touched my lips, a door was thrust open, with the client greeting me with a smile and indication to come in. I hurriedly grabbed my food and stuffed back in a bag and followed him to a room with a camera and a few lights with a white background.

As I reached for the prompt, I also reached for my glasses. 
     He asked, “Do you always wear glasses?” 
     “Only when I read.” I said playfully, not letting my high energy down. 
     “That’s not the look I am going for,” as he motioned for me to take off my glasses.

     Immediately, all that fun-loving energy I saved for this reading turned into feelings of nervousness and led to a stale read. My eye jumped from word to word and I mispronounced Halodrol, like 6 times. I wasn’t feeling the read, even though I faked it as best I could. All the while, I assumed that he didn’t want me to represent his brand. The worst part was, I knew I was not being the best I could be while I was actively doing the read.

     Normally after having a bad audition / read, I would obsess about how I had messed up, contemplated what I could have done differently, all the myriad ways this was going to be an epic failure, etc. But this time I did something different; for once I took the time to reach out and write a follow up letter to him. I made sure I thanked him for the opportunity and asked what I could do to improve. 

     What came back was something I never expected, because I was to fearful to ask for input. He wrote back a structured improvement list, as well as what he liked about me and my personality. The best part about following up with him, was that I felt 10 times better about my performance than I normally would. 

     Asking for feedback can be brutal for anyone, more so when you feel like you have mastered your craft. I have a tendency to wallow in uncertainty, and I often will swallow my pride, in an attempt to avoid rejection. But through the years, I have finally reached a level of self-awareness, to ask for what I can do to be better, so that I can be on top of my game and the very best I can be. This isn’t just a lesson for how to succeed as a model, or a spokesperson, but a lesson for all aspects and walks of life. Don’t lie to yourself and think you can’t do better – you can always do better, you can always improve. Keep striving to be the best ____ you can be (whatever you fill in that blank). That is how success is achieved.