When I need you.

My greatest mentor once told me that "when you build your friendships, keep in mind that these are people you are going to need in your future, treat them like you would a garden." 

I need you guys to remember this while I tell my story.

A long time ago while I was competing for past pageants, I had a hard time fitting in because of my stature and being the new girl didn't help either. I tried to make friends, but was super intimidated. When I reached out, many times girls were incredibly helpful, but there were a few who would boldly make it a point to not even acknowledge me. They would ignore me, ask me embarrassing questions, act better then, and so fourth. 

10 years later after many invites to parties, events and social gatherings I started to notice a pattern. Every time this particular person would reach out, it was generally to gain some kind of self gratification or something which wouldn't involve a collective collaboration. A recent conversation asked about the coordination of a fitness competition, in which the details they wanted from me were not understood, so I offered a consulting fee. Seems like the proper thing to do since I was working. 

From that I gained a full understanding of what passive aggressive behavior was and was subliminally told that I had terrible character and a terrible life. 

I didn't take it personally, but for someone who only contacts me when they need me for something and doesn't build any fruitful relationships; I'm kinda confused as to who has the terrible life and terrible character.

Referring back to what my mentor had said, gardening your relationships has to do with pulling out the weeds as well as feeding and watering your flowers. Take care of the friends that make your life beautiful, not the ones who are the pest.

Waiting for Changes

"So, how long do you think it will be until I see a change?"

I can remember asking my mentor this exact question when I made a lifestyle change about 7 1/2 years ago.

And, now that I am a personal trainer and a coach, I get asked this question quite often by clients who want to lose weight, gain strength, or just look better. Many times, I can look in to my clients eyes and see that they are wishing for something instant. But when I tell them that there's no instant change, only hard work and dedication, I see despair in their eyes and the actions necessary to achieve their goals disappear.

Do you know how long it has taken for me to notice a difference in how I feel, how I look, and how I carry myself? Roughly seven years. That's right, until very recently I didn't see, feel or think there was a difference. But other people did. Even though I didn't see the change, others did. You will always be the last person to see the change, because you are always going to be hardest on yourself; want more for yourself. And because you only see the little improvements, while they see all those little improvements stacking together, making big changes.

And regardless of who saw it first, the change happened. But it didn't happen over night, it didn't happen in two weeks, a month, (okay I think you got the point). It took time and a lot of little actions, little changes, all of them necessary, in order to get to where I want to be. There is no secret sauce, miracle workout... Just little actions stacked together.

My First National Show

Just recently I had the opportunity to compete in the NPC National Show. Of those who take the time to look at my life, many would say that I took to long to compete; but for me it was the perfect time. Yes, it took me five years to get to the national stage, but I finally did it. I reached my goal. Every experience was worth it, every new friend I made along the road was one more supporter. Every mentor that guided me there, and my sponsor ProFight, for helping me fight my way there.

Looking back on it now, my trip to Vegas was fruitful. Because I don't have the financial backing up most athletes do, I found a quiet little hotel just off the strip. Maybe, 45 bucks or so at night. Most will say it was seedy, but it worked perfectly - as my tanning appointment was at that exact same hotel. I also packed all of my food: the thought of wasting my hard earned paychecks to pay for food, kind of drove me crazy. So I packed unsalted canned vegetables, hard-boiled eggs, and chicken, with microwavable rice. Essentially, I wanted to find a way to keep the calories on without eating garbage. I was actually more surprised at the fact that all that food went through check in at the airport.

Every morning before showtime I would get up, do a form of plyometrics, or some kind of activity to keep my muscles pumped because there was a crappy gym at my hotel. I don't care though, I came because I finally reached my goal. And I wanted to be the best that I could.

At prejudging, I felt like I finally arrived. My husband and my client both came out to support me, and it felt like I was meant to be there. Everyone was incredibly nice, helpful, and nobody was as carb depleted as I thought.

I did notice most of the girls in the bikini division all had their coaches with them or some sort of team. I'll be honest, I didn't have either. But what I did have, was the same desire and drive to be there. My team was a family that I built within my community of friends. My coach was my husband telling me that I am good enough, and have every right to there, even when I doubted myself.

Moving onto finals, I found myself chatting with most of the crowd while I was hanging out at the ProFight booth. It felt almost surreal, like a dream I was going to wake up from any minute. And it absolutely went by far too fast.

Once they had all the bikini girls onstage, I knew I wasn't going to get picked for even a top 10 spot. There was no way. I wasn't even looked at. How did I know? I stared at every judge in their face, and not one of them made eye contact. Either way, the feeling that I had up there being compared with some of the top bikini models in the nation, still made me feel pretty good.

I would do that experience again, as a matter fact I will continue to compete until I'm unable to compete any more.

A huge thank you, again, to NPC for putting on a great show at the USA's in Vegas; thank you to Muscle Contest for voting me to get to a national show; a massive thank you to ProFight for being a spectacular sponsor and supporting my journey; and I couldn't have done any of this without my supporting husband and my team of friends and family who continue to support my dreams.

Pulp Protein Muffins

So last year, Wil and I had both received a juicer for a wedding gift. When we put it to use, we literally put everything inside of it. But as we got on our juicing kick, we noticed that we we're throwing away the most important part of the vegetables and fruit.

I decided to get creative and look for how to use the pump left over. I also wanted to try to recycle what was leaving my trash filthy and full.

I found a great website to make pulp muffins. Since I had no flax meal though, I would either replace it with glutamine powder, or protein powder. I would have to add a bit more mellow to get a better texture, but regardless it came out perfect.

Just some sound advice: if there's only two people living in the household, it may be a lot of muffins. They also spoil pretty fast because you're using very raw ingredients. So after you make them, make sure to throw them in the refrigerator.


Recipe taken from Never The Homemaker

JUICE PULP BREAD/MUFFINS
(makes 2 loaves or 24 muffins -- use any pulp)

What you'll need . . . 

• 3 cups white-whole wheat flour
• 1/4 cup flax meal 
• 1/2 teaspoon salt 
• 1 tablespoon baking powder 
• Heaping teaspoon ground cinnamon (or other spice)
• 2 cups (fluffed, not packed)fruit/veggie pulp 
• 1/2 cup olive or canola oil 
• 1/2 to 3/4 cup unsweetened almond milk (or other milk, even water)
• 1/2 to 3/4 cup maple syrup (depending on sweetness desired)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract  
  

Method . . . 

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. If you've baking bread, lightly grease your bread pans; muffins grease muffin tins.
2. In a large bowl, combine the flour, flax meal, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon together. Then mix in the pulp and follow with the oil, almond milk, and maple syrup. 
3. Mix until just combined. Batter should be like normal quick bread or muffin batter, so if it is too thick, add more liquid -- milk.
4. Then divide into half for bread or portion out into individual muffin tins. 
5. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes for bread or 20 to 25 minutes for standard muffins.
6. Repeat with rest of batter -- bread is done when set in middle and lightly golden brown. 
7. Let cool before serving or storing in your refrigerator (or freezing!).

Recipe taken from Never The Homemaker

Strength in Mentors

What became a great day of reflection, came from a day which I was swamped with work, phone calls, clients, and attempting to get in my own training. Although, I was increasingly exhausted, I finally got down to writing this blog.

I had no idea what to write about but it finally hit me.

I was filled with the ambition to work for my client’s success in their fitness journey. One client whom is 61 years old, had a struggle with a basic sit up, is now increasing his strength tremendously. Another, future figure competitor has just sent me her posing photos. I also got offered a tremendous opportunity to help someone with their 100lb weight loss challenge.

With as much time that I have dedicated to my clients and my training, I knew I had to continuously stay vigilant for all of those who have helped me on my road of success and who have kept my head afloat above water. My mentors have been my strength, and have given me strength.

Most recently, Stacey Naito has taken the time to mentally prep me for competing at the national level show. Not only has she told me what to expect, but pointed me to her blog about how to meal prep for traveling.

Ian Lauer, Stacey Naito, and I at West Coast Classic 2015,

Xavius Gayden, has spent many days on the phone with me talking about the lifting process and what is the best way to maintain gains and get them. I had the pleasure of meeting with him for a training session, in which I would watch him like a hawk on his lifts to see if there was a magic spell. There wasn’t he just eats and lifts…

Michael Orr, who was in my pre-mature lifting days, shared with me his secrets on gaining some pretty hammies and reminding me of what keeps him humble in a selfish sport. His support at a particular show, impressed me on how dedicated he was being a friend and a mentor and expected nothing.

 

Victor Konovolov was the very first professional body builder I was able to have as a mentor. If you do not know Victor, I would like to be the many to say, that man does not have a selfish bone in his body, not even a selfish muscle. He gave his free time with me to work with me on my posing routine, help me focus in on my eating, and always was the first to challenge me in my lifts. “Evina, you can go heavier.” I have never really went heavy, but for some reason, the look he would give me showed me that I could do anything.

James Patrick, a fitness photographer, who I have known for 10 years (and counting). We both started off in more of a fashion/glamor realm of the industry. When I started my career in fitness, he was the main person I would consult with about how I would brand myself. Although I have yet to find what I am good at, he always made sure to let me know that giving up was never an option. The failure was the best part of success.

 

The countless hours my husband would spend with me making sure my nails were done (yes, he did them) for a show along with helping me prep my food. Sometimes, him just showing up was good enough because I was too frantic to worry about anything else, but he made sure whatever I needed got done. My dad, step-mother, and brother would spend all day at a show just to watch me take 5^th place. Although I was discouraged, it was a first place win to them. My mom would make countless calories for me to eat when I would go visit because I needed to keep my gains. She thought I was too thin anyway.

Along the road to what I have become and turning into, I have encountered some pretty amazing mentors. Mentors, which not only are those I look up to, but people I seek active advice from who have very similar morals and ethics. These mentors and I have not only built a connection, but a relationship beyond any business can falter.  Of course, there are MANY mentors where this list is coming from, and to be fair, I would not want to bore.

On a day like today, where I may be exhausted and have a full plate, I have to remember, that I am my clients mentor and friend. I cannot give up on myself, because my mentors never did. What was passed on to me, is passed on to them.

Underwater Modeling

Photo Credit: Joe Stemmer

At times, some jobs I get for modeling can be either very easy to extremely demanding. Depending on the job, it can easy or difficult depending on the models personal skill set.

Joe Stemmer is a photographer based in Palm Desert, CA who had asked me to do an underwater shoot with him. I immediately said yes, and figured it would have been easy for me, since I felt I was in top shape and felt strong enough to not only do a shoot under water, but to do a shoot under water with Andrew MacLaine gowns on. Little did I know the demands were more than expected.

As I put on the flowing red gown, my first thought was, “this is going to have such a nice flow!” But once I went in the water, I felt and looked like a drowning long haired dog. Although, we were able to catch some great shots of the red flowing gown, I didn’t expect to almost die in the process. Anything for art.

Photo Credit: Joe Stemmer

As we started to get through some of the other outfits, my old high school swimming days started to kick in. I started to channel how I felt during practices putting on layers of nylons and 3 different bathing suits in order to make me a faster swimmer. I was always a natural athlete and I always challenged my body to incredible lengths to get the solutions I desired. With that said, once I started to channel that moment during our photo shoot under the water, my natural mermaid intentions kicked in and it got easier as the day went on.

“What if the water is cold?”

Photo Credit: Joe Stemmer

HA! This reminds me of the day Joe, Lauren (HT Sister), and I decided to shoot in Northridge on a chilly day in February. The pool was freezing and Lauren and I could maybe get one outfit out of the shoot, We felt our bodies being tortured in the cold pool and decided we had enough. Joe was a sport about it.

My suggestion to models considering to shoot under water shots would be to learn your environment before the actual shoot day. Practice at home or even practice holding your breath (without the squish face). I would also suggest start prepping for most pool temperatures and bring a towel, you never know when you’re gonna get cold.  

What Seperates You?



Photo from Huff Post 



              At the Wella Hair Studios, I had the chance to step in front of the casting director and let her know I was able and willing to work as their model for an instructional video. Sitting patiently inside the audition waiting room reading up on the historical back ground of Wella, I would glance at the reflection of the glass case looking at my competition. They were all blonde and I was keeping my fingers that it would stay that way. Sure enough a wave of other brunettes came in and crushed my chances of being the one model they chose.

                As we all prepared to line up (as you would line up cows to be slaughtered for their best and worst parts), slight elbows were given as an indication to move out of each other’s way. At one point there was a silent stare down between two models (if looks could kills, there girls would have bled all over the floor).

                Once we lined up, in the matter of seconds the casting director picked one of us for the shoot (not me) and sent the rest of the 50 girls on their way. Some stomped away and the rest silently put their head down in disgrace as if they missed winning the decathlon by one point. I did something different. I walked out without taking it personal. What I am going to do is send a lovely thank you card to the casting director thanking them for their time and considerations.

                I don’t need to act like a diva, nor do I need to feel that rejection is something I deserve. “No” is just part of the industry. If girls keep pouting and whining, what make you think anyone wants to work with you? As models and professionals in anything, who are you to always be chosen? And if you haven’t been chosen, maybe it’s time to change your perspective and do something different. Many times I have taken the time to do follow up emails, and touch base. When I am at an event, I will make time to attempt to remember their name (internet is a wonderful thing) and make sure they remember mine. Go out of your way to be nice, trust me, it’s a lot more memorable.

Shame with a Purpose.

                All in the name of whatever it is you stand for, there will usually be someone who will not benefit from your fight. And when you fight, do it with the sense of gusto that runs over those whom do not stand with you or stand for what you believe in.

                Let’s take a look at body shaming. Women who are bigger feel that they are not women enough compared to the advertisements they see with girls who have the hips of teenage boys and almost asymmetrical faces. Skinnier women (genetically) are constantly reminded that they are not real women due to their lack of curves. This is due to advertising media jumping on the “plus size” model bandwagon. The great contradiction of being a woman. It is great that the images of women in advertising is ever evolving, however being shamed for your body type is growing just as fast.

                Growing up, I was handed bulimic self-help books not because anyone was concerned, but because I was skinny. I was always a slow developer and even ate more than most my peers. It wasn’t until later in my teen years in modeling that I developed a serious case of bulimia because I was simply told I had too much body fat by an agency. I struggle with my own body image, just like everyone else. Just because I am skinny, this does not make me an exception. The many years I’ve spent being shamed into being a certain body type made me modify my behavior to fit what everyone else wanted me to be. The image that I have of myself now is based on myself and not what others think. My self-worth comes from inside me and not others opinions.

                Ladies and gents (guys struggle too), please don’t let shame make you believe your worthless. Use shaming to your advantage. Take it in stride. Every time someone says you can’t, tell yourself you can. When someone says you won’t accomplish anything, say you will. Shame can be our ultimate defeater and destroy us or it can be a great motivator. Either way, you have the power to make the ultimate decision on how you feel about your body.

 

Plain, But Fancy...

Last year was a great year for me to really go outside of my normal comfort zone of being the bikini girl / fitness model. Most of my shoots recently have been with either bikinis, to compliment all my hard work at the gym, or sports gear. What many don't know, I started my career off as a fashion model for Michael Costello in Palm Springs at the tender age of 14. This shoot I am about to share with you is really just going back to my fashion roots.

I have recently met a friend through another friend, and came across her profile and website, "Plain, But Fancy". This stood out to me because I loved how catchy the title was and felt that I, as a woman, could relate. I dug deeper into her site and noticed that most of the clothing was a vintage style clothing that embraced the stitching of the 70's. The colors were too elaborate to be of this generation and the texture of the clothing looked too sturdy to be made in China. I had to reach out to her to collaborate!

The introduction of how we met isn't necessarily that important, but who she is, is what truly matters. Her name is Marcia, and she started this site by going to estate sales and seeking out some good old fashions people were just tossing out. Not only were these people tossing them, but she felt that these fashions could be restored and revived in todays world. She purchased those articles of clothing and began the revitalization process making sure to maintain the top quality of the clothing.

Thus began our relationship as stylist and model. She and I had made an agreement to showcase the clothing, as I ran down to Joe Stemmer in Palm Springs to show him the fun new clothing I received. He was just as delighted as I was when I showed up with a full days worth of clothes to shoot in.

Either way, here are a few shots from our shoot.

Also, please check out the site: Plain, but Fancy! 

Find her Facebook: Plain but Fancy

Happy New Year!

Since we are still in the first month of the New Year, I want to wish everyone a very, very Prosperous 2015. I hope the most of you have stuck to your New Years Resolutions, and if you haven't, don't feel bad. I already lost my ability to manage my time properly.

I say that because I have finally got the chance to sit down and write a post about what has manifested in the short few weeks of the new year. Even though I have been attempting to blog, I have yet to have any time to sit down to really focus on what I wanted to write about. But than, in my thinking stages, I came to the grateful conclusion that I am living the short description of what my 2015 may already look like. 

I found a pitbull in Las Vegas! Adopt Him!

Productive, Persistent, and Patient.

These three P's mean so much to me when I am working with a client and working for an agency. I don't think models really understand how important it is to manage their time productively, be persistent with their look and work, or even knowing how to be patient with the clients needs and wants. I find it super important when I am working with anyone, that these qualities stand out.

Productive: When I am not shooting or working for any brand, my time is mostly spent finding new clients to work with, calling my agents and letting them know my availability, building relationships with clients, helping my clients to meet their deadlines, finding models for my clients, finding models whom are reliable and are not afraid of any job too big or too small. That is just my work side... you should see what I do when I channel my inner wife mode. The point is, this is time I take out of my day, for free, to help those around me. I know how much overhead is for some clients when they have things to do, and they remember characteristics like mine for the future for work.

Persistent: It is really important that I stay persistent. In the beginning of the year I made sure to keep up with my work outs. But I also thought about how that discipline and persistence applies to my work ethic. From what I learned in CSUN, if I am not pursuing my education I know I am gonna do bad in my classes. If I neglect any phone calls, or emails from my clients I am going to get an "F" from them and probably will not be considered to be worked with.

Patience: There are many times I will have a quiet time between jobs. At this moment, it is very easy for me to get frustrated about the lack of work. This is the most important time to stay both persistent and productive attempting to find clients. Also, Patience is really essential because if you stuck with the first two P's, the clients will remember you and contact you when they need you. Which may not be necessarily on your time, but it will be the right time.





Preservation or Presentation?

Social media is something completely new to society and how we utilize it in our everyday lives is changing every day. I have to say, I have used it for my own benefit in marketing and it even has bit me back in the bum. Either way, this nascent source of information sharing has it's ups and downs, most notably that what we put on the internet and how it will not only be there forever, but how it will make other people see us. Presentation has never become more important than in this social media age.

Many of you are saying, "IDGAF" or "I don't care what people think of me or my choices." And that is fine. But, truth be told, for me, I care. 

I care at how people judge me by a post I write or how it may affect my friendships being in different political backgrounds. 

I care that I may have hurt someone's feelings about some stupid angry rant I didn't mean because I felt stronger behind a keyboard. 

I care about putting intimate moments with my husband on social media because I won't have special moments with him. This also distracts me from having time with him or my family. 

I especially care about getting a job in the future. 

We may think that these things don't have an impact on us, but it does. Every company employs social media searches on potential candidates, and will bring those findings to bear on an candidate’s chances. You may be the best option, but something you said, or posted ONE TIME online, can ruin your ability to get into the career of your dreams, because every career starts with that first job.

And personally, I have already lost a job.

Besides that, I see others who rant about the position they hold or even getting stiffed for a gig, or get stuck doing free gigs, or even relationship issues!

I have done it; I have been there. I am sure you will find all kinds of post I didn't mean and were hurtful. But I am going to take note now as to the types of post or pics I should stay away from. Here is a list I promise to myself to maintain the proper style of posting.


Evina’s Social Media Post DON’Ts:
1. Do not post everywhere your going. 
This is 100% about safety. If you are constantly updating where you are, and who you are with, it gives people an opportunity to find you – and most often those people are not going to be fans, polite, etc. And not just your personal safety, but also the safety of your friends, family, loved ones who may be out with you.

2. Posting that your job sucks is never the way to approach your unhappiness.
First, if your job sees it, you are done (This just happened: My friend runs a business and found out her employee took advantage of her). Once the employer sees anything of the sort, your fired and no recommendation for you. Second, no one likes to hear how much you hate your job. No one.
Suggestion: try talking to your employer about your dissatisfaction, they may care about keeping you as an employee and try to fix things. And if not, then you know that you are not valued, and can look for work elsewhere.

3. I don't want business posts tagging me unless I have given my approval.
Yes, you need my permission. Many professional clients I work with make me sign a disclosure and vice versa. But even if that is not the case, trust is an important factor here – you keep that trust and I will continue to work with you, and refer others to you. If you break that trust, then I will neither work with nor refer to you.

4. Friendship or relationship issues have no room on feeds. 
Many employers will see this as insecurities or an unstable mentality, and not want to hire / work with someone who may have drama / issues that will affect performance, attendance, etc. 

5. There is a lot of hate in the world, and a ton of videos about blood on feeds lately.  
It could be animal or human, I have seen more death on my feeds than I do in real life. If you want to show an employer you are actively against something, go volunteer or donate your time or money to a cause you support. An employer likes an employee who is active. 

6. What happens on your free time happens on your free time, not on your feeds.
I am so guilty of this. Vegas, drinking, partying... All these types of things potential employers and clients will and can frown upon.
Keep is classy ladies and gents. I know we are young, and having fun, but let's make our generation not be the selfie, party generation. Let’s show the world our best side, not our party side.

Evina’s Selfie NO NOs:
1. NO SELFIES: 
Selfies as a model are cute if your promoting a makeup stylist or even the new brand of eyelashes. When a selfie is 90% your boobs, it's no longer a selfie... it is a boob shot. We know what your doing. I have done it. 

2. Butt Shots:
From a business perspective, if you are marketing sex or looking for attention or submitting it to The Chive for Mind the Gap, than it would be perfect. If progress photos are what your aiming for, stick with a full body shot. 

3. Gym Selfies:
Stop it. This harks back to AIM Away Statuses – no one cares that you are at the gym. And no one cares what your gym outfit is – no matter how “on point”. Unless you are a fitness professional, demonstrating your skills, leave the camera app closed. Besides, you will be standing in front of the mirror in the way of my 45's taking way too much time posing for the “perfect selfie” for my anabolic window. 

4. Bra and Panty Shots:
If an employer sees this it can hinder your potential ability for that job. Unless it was a professional photo shoot, and modeling is your career path, it shouldn't have to be a part of any media feed at all. You shouldn't have to feel like you need to take your clothes off for the world to feel "pretty". Nor should you seek validation though social media outlets in your chonies.

I may get some back lash here from a variety of my friends perspective's. But just know, I know I am just as guilty of doing some of the NO NO's as the next person. For me, I have had to earn my own self respect by not allowing myself to be 'that girl'. I have been there, though my own experience I would rather see women succeed, than fail because of our vanity or silly weekend decisions. .

Rejection is not failure; it's feedback.

     I applied to a casting call for a spokes model position for an online supplement store. I needed to memorize lines, and I would be prompted to speak as if I was speaking with a potential customer, which would be simulated when a customer visited the website. I was a bit surprised when they called me in, as they were asking for a blonde; but without hesitation I let them know I would be there with a skip in my step.

     As always, I was 30 minutes early to the audition; checked in with the secretary at the front and waited for my turn. Sitting in the waiting room, I cracked open my third meal of the day, hoping I can get some food in my stomach before the audition. Literally as the hard-boiled egg touched my lips, a door was thrust open, with the client greeting me with a smile and indication to come in. I hurriedly grabbed my food and stuffed back in a bag and followed him to a room with a camera and a few lights with a white background.

As I reached for the prompt, I also reached for my glasses. 
     He asked, “Do you always wear glasses?” 
     “Only when I read.” I said playfully, not letting my high energy down. 
     “That’s not the look I am going for,” as he motioned for me to take off my glasses.

     Immediately, all that fun-loving energy I saved for this reading turned into feelings of nervousness and led to a stale read. My eye jumped from word to word and I mispronounced Halodrol, like 6 times. I wasn’t feeling the read, even though I faked it as best I could. All the while, I assumed that he didn’t want me to represent his brand. The worst part was, I knew I was not being the best I could be while I was actively doing the read.

     Normally after having a bad audition / read, I would obsess about how I had messed up, contemplated what I could have done differently, all the myriad ways this was going to be an epic failure, etc. But this time I did something different; for once I took the time to reach out and write a follow up letter to him. I made sure I thanked him for the opportunity and asked what I could do to improve. 

     What came back was something I never expected, because I was to fearful to ask for input. He wrote back a structured improvement list, as well as what he liked about me and my personality. The best part about following up with him, was that I felt 10 times better about my performance than I normally would. 

     Asking for feedback can be brutal for anyone, more so when you feel like you have mastered your craft. I have a tendency to wallow in uncertainty, and I often will swallow my pride, in an attempt to avoid rejection. But through the years, I have finally reached a level of self-awareness, to ask for what I can do to be better, so that I can be on top of my game and the very best I can be. This isn’t just a lesson for how to succeed as a model, or a spokesperson, but a lesson for all aspects and walks of life. Don’t lie to yourself and think you can’t do better – you can always do better, you can always improve. Keep striving to be the best ____ you can be (whatever you fill in that blank). That is how success is achieved.

Model Stigma

Only once in my life have I physically gone up to a girl and asked “please tell me you’re agency represented…” She was about 6’2”, dusky blonde natural hair, 19 years old, and rubbed her elbows like she was tired of hearing what I said, as she must have got it all the time. “Yes, I am.” Suddenly, I felt like I was adding more to her insecurities, so I forcefully replied, “Great!” and continued with my Thai dinner at the restaurant she was working at.

Recently, I was working an in-store promotion selling the new brew by Sam Adams for the fall season. I was wearing a black mini skirt and heels, standing next to a shabby table with product in the front of Vons, with a toy witch hanging over my head. Everyone who walked by had an opinion of my physical attraction, but once I started to ramble about the product, it seemed like I didn’t have to work that hard to sell it. The next day, I had the same promotion. I had a pair of capris on and flats… not one person was interested in hearing what I had to say. 
In the gym, after my work out, while in the lockers, I was approached by someone telling me “OMG, you SHOULD model!” Almost so loudly that it makes me the gawking object in the ladies locker room, where many glare with jealousy. It doesn’t feel good and I did nothing to deserve that.

I don’t flaunt what I do. When I meet someone, they don’t know I am part model, part competitor, and part athlete. The friends that I made which are not part of my network, are friends I did not initially give my ‘label’ to. My industry friends that I have made, are either just as boring as I am or just as hard working.

I still stumble on what to say to people I meet (like Wil’s family or other business professionals) when they ask me, “What do you do for a living?” When I say I am a model, I can see they are immediately applying any stigma they have been exposed to in their lifetime to my 15 years of experience. Usually it is either, A) I get everything for free, or B) I take my clothes off for anyone who has a camera.

No one knows about the countless hours driving to castings, or (if I am lucky enough) gigs, in traffic, nor do they look at the fact that I rarely get picked for castings because I am not “American Made” or fit the typical LA mold.

Back to my original statement: stop with the “you should be a model” statements to girls. I know my photos portray a stupid social stigma that is unrealistic to live up to, I get it. That’s what I know. After I grew up, I realized, it’s just work. But that image of me looks nothing like I do in real life; and this is true for most models that are in the industry, unless they have F-U money. Besides, let’s stop giving false hope to girls about making money off their looks, otherwise they are going to be sitting on a casting couch with some dirty dude, asking themselves, “Am I pretty enough?” I know I don’t want to contribute to another women not feeling good enough.

Ladies, if anyone comes up to you and tells you, “You SHOULD be a model!” ask them why they think that. I bet you it isn’t because of you ravishing love for good horror stories or your hyper understanding of mathematics. No. Visually you please the (most specifically, their) eye… Nothing more.

Models like myself have made the mistakes and have the experience for you. Hold yourself to a higher standard, girls. Get away from the titty and booty selfies that get a crap ton of likes and contribute to your nasty self-obsession. Because that will eventually get old until the next girl with a skinner waist and bigger booty posts something naughtier. Post something funny. Post about your books. Hell, don’t post at all. Stop looking for other people to like you and how you look. Like yourself, as you are. Be brave enough to make your own decisions about what your fate is to be. Fail. Who cares? Just don’t let someone stroke your ego and fall victim to it. Likes don’t buy happiness.

 

Don't trip, with these Fall tips!

With fall approaching quickly (it’s already here!) , along with the ramped sprees of shopping, it is a little fearful to come up with how to maintain diet and exercise with the Halloween treats, Thanksgiving dinners, or the Christmas goodies! If you have a family or a schedule like mine, you will have plenty of parties to test your will power.

Here are some steps to follow when attempting to stay on the path of your goals:

1.       Don’t starve yourself: During the holidays, you may feel if you skip breakfast and lunch that it would be okay to have all your calories at the feast of dinner time. NO! Continue your path of 4-6 meals and by the time you reach dinner, you won’t feel the need to over indulge.

2.       Water, lots and lots of it: 70% of the body consist of water. Fill it up! When you’re dehydrated, naturally your body tells you with sweet or salty cravings. When you feel that, go for the water if you have already ate. Water is also essential for brain development and recovering internal and external cells. It’s a good way to work on that summer glow during the cold months.

      3.       Portion control: It’s ok to eat that small piece of candy. When you have amounts of treats that can fill a bathtub, that’s where you have problems. Continue your meals with veggies, proteins and complex carbs. My mother’s chocolate pudding pie is amazing during the holidays, but depending on where my goals are, I’ll make sure that I eat it responsibly. Given the fact that I can eat a whole pie myself.

4.       Move more: staying inside and toasty next to a fire is a lot more comforting than walking outside when it is chilly. When I get too content with snuggling, I feel sluggish and lazy, along with my pup. A brisk walk or jog 30 minutes a day will help keep the blood flowing, joints lubricated, and help stabilize metabolism.

 

5.       Stay motivated: working out in groups of people or letting friends know your goals is a great way to help you stay focused. Also, writing down your set goals and repeating them twice a day also helps maintain focus. Every morning I use prayer as a channel with my goals to God. My prayer goes as follows. “Father, let me be the best light I can be for the darkness. Not only for me to gain success, but to be an example to those who may be struggling. Allow me to accomplish my goals by doing (X,Y,Z…) today.” This theory can also be applied to meditation or attraction.

CNP Athletes (L-R): Gene Amoguis, Chantal Nugent Amoguis, Matt "Mo Hookups", James Ernster, Evina Luna, Nate Koch

Some days are better than others, and that is ok. The most important thing to remember is keep trying and continue to practice changing or keeping your habits.

Roads are trudged, not skipped.

2014 CSUN Graduate

Yay! I did it! I finally did it!

After 2 years of focusing on school, I finally got my BA in Sociology!

Although I walked about 2 months ago, I am finally done with my classes I had during the summer and now I can proudly wait for my diploma in the mail! I will be the first out of my siblings to reach this goal, which is a big deal in my family. No, my brothers are not dumb, I am just smarted than them. :P

There is a question that has been asked of me over and over again since my graduation that is starting to get on my nerves.
“What are you going to do with your degree?”

Logically, my emotions would kick in and everything I was taught for my degree would vomit out of my ears and I would sit there overwhelmed with the thought that I had to get a job in which correlates to my field of interest. To me it sounds like I have limits. Well, actually I do.

I can be a social worker and help people who do not want to be helped. With all the case studies I have read, poverty recycles itself unless it changes itself. Not only is this a study, this is also a matter of experience. I am not trying to debate, just prove a point of why I can’t YET see myself in social work.

I can work in CPS (Child Protective Services), but it takes a special person to work with families rattled with abuse and violence. I don’t feel I would be emotionally secure to handle situations like that.

I can be a Parole Officer. I would have to have extensive training for hand to hand combat, I’d get to carry a gun (maybe), and maybe push some paper work.

I remember meeting an occupational therapist and chatting with how much she loved her job. Helping people get motor movement in their upper bodies, helping to restore function, and connection with the patients. This kind of occupation sounds like something I would totally be interested in, however, I would have to go back to school for that… I am not even thinking that far.

All these types of jobs have a few things in common. Lack of family time, overtime hours, minimal travel, and emotional stress. It takes a special kind of person to work in these fields. But ask me something different. Ask me about my goals. Ask me about my current jobs. What am I working on now? Ask me how you can help and I’ll think of a way to help you. Or ask me how I can help you.

It’s almost as society has put this burden and strain on graduates to pick and find a job in their field, it is no wonder why there are no jobs or it’s super competitive in the field we majored in. It was a goal trying to get a degree.

For now my future goals are to rekindle with my connections, continue working as a model, and continue competing as an athlete.

Giving up is never an option; Reach for the stars, even if you miss.

Winter Sunscreen

Not only is winter a time a pleasant moment to create new memories, but also a time where our skin has a ruff beating.

I hear more complaints about people's skin during the winter than I do during the summer. Living in southern California has its perks of being sunny and beautiful about 90% of the year. Santa Ana winds, however, have the tendency to dry out our skin and destroy its elasticity.

You can Google everything under the sun to find out what the perfect product is to keep your skin moist and fresh, but I have a little secret.

Sunscreen.

Yes, that stuff you only use during the summertime... sunscreen.

Being a seasoned former Miss Hawaiian Tropic, I found out how important it was to use sunscreen all year long. I used to almost never wear sunscreen during the winter, thinking my skin was fine with plain moisturizer. However, since I have been using sunblock during the winter, there has been a noticeable difference in how my skin feels.

The UVB and UVA rays may not be as strong during the winter, but the combination of both the UV rays, chill, and wind will create as much damage as the UV rays at their strongest.

If your of my generation and remember the sunscreen song, I suggest you listen... he was right.

Be the better you.

Most of the time I always seem to conversate with those around me about what our accomplishments and goals may have been. Seemingly enough, I run into a brick wall when the question arises, "what has been your major accomplishments and goals?" Not that I have nothing to vouch for, but mostly because I have a hard time boasting about my identity and how good I am about my job. I'm a complete extravert by nature, yet allowing my ego to drive me to talk about how important I am I always steer to the discuss what my future accomplishments will be.

For example:

1. I would like to graduate CSUN with a 3.0 or higher: Since I was a complete jerk in my first attempt at college at College of the Desert, I aim to be the complete opposite of that.

 

2. Involve myself more in the campus culture: I'm am in two different clubs on campus with kids younger than I, and I do the absolute grunt work just to show I am ready to work. I don't want to miss out on what I have already missed out on before.

Kinesiology Majors Club at CSUN

3. Reach out to models about body image: Every model (including myself) has gone through a form of body image issues or eating disorders and feel that it is almost necessary to keep that image up.

4. Write: Ok, so... I don't have the best grammar. I am not a journalist, nor did I go to school for it. However, my writing abilities have achieved a better comprehension level then where I was before. Now that I maintain those capabilities, I want to share with the world my experience with modeling and how to become successful.

5. I want children: Oh, so girly of me. But, it is my decision to make it a goal. Why? It's hard teaching the value of life to our youth today about how important it is to use imagination rather to discover one on the internet.

6. Keep in contact with my friends: With the advancement of technology, we feel we no longer have the obligation to call each other when its as easy as posting a disconnected "happy birthday" on someone's wall. Or even text message them to keep them up to date in our life. Whatever happened to, "hey, want to do lunch?", or even a simple phone call to let them know we were thinking about them?



Girlfriends of Hawaiian Tropic

7. Grace a COVER of a magazine: not because of my ravishing good looks (note the sarcasm), really because I want to share my story of overcoming my fears and what I did to get there. There still is an ample amount I do hold back.

8. Be the person my dog sees me as: You may have heard this from your social media feeds, and it holds true. When my dog greets me after I have had a long day at work or school, she does it in the most loving way possible. She wags her little tail and licks my face till I break out. She snuggles in between my armpit and my rib cage never wanting her to let her go. As I sometimes see it, she is a dog. Yet in her eyes, I am the perfect companion.

Tiny, my little dog.

9. Disengage in technology: WE are ALL guilty of this. I will skim for hours wondering what everyone is doing, or as some call it "trolling". In the end, I find myself missing an hour of my life with my fiancé, or making a phone call to a close friend.

10. Don't take myself so seriously: I find myself in moments where if something doesn't go my way or if I didn't nail a gig, I will blame it on me. Here is the thing, so many situations happen for a reason. If it wasn't supposed to happen, that's because another opportunity was waiting for me.

These may seem like the type of goals in which many will have the reaction like, "yea... so what?". With my experience in life, it is not about who you were but who your striving to be.

CNP Performance-Be the better you!



New Brand Labels Coming soon!

          As a fitness model, I get stopped often and asked about the types of workouts I do, what my diet is like, and especially what kind of products I use. Most people would consider me of a bias opinion when I mention my sponsor, CNP Performance. Well… duh, they are my sponsor, so of course I am going to mention them first. But also, it works for my body in combination of my workouts and eating regimen. This interview isn’t about me, but about the quality and history of CNP Performance is what I want to share with you.

Courtesy of James Patrick Photography

            I could remember 2 ½ years ago, walking in to the CNP office praying I got some sort of recognition from them to be worthy enough to get sponsored. After about a year of selling their product out of my car, they finally found me worthy enough to be considered a fully sponsored athlete. CNP has held their standards of their products high and valuable. Being that it is a family business too, they themselves maintain a level of dignity, morals, and loyalty.

            I will testify, their products (along with a proper eating regimen and working-out!) have made me the beast that I am today. During a workout, I use a combination of ProGF (no caffeine) and ProSlams (no caffeine) both loaded with BetaAlanine and peptide bonded glutamine. For my post-workout, I’m usually having a MBF (Mass BuildingFormula, ProPeptide) mixed with water. Then at night I always have a little treat with the protein pudding, ProDessert. I do feel significantly better and stronger when I train. I know with CNP (Certified Nutritional Products) I am getting a high quality protein with a high absorption rate.

I interviewed James, President of CNP. He will detail properties below.

1. Hi James! To start off, can you introduce yourself and talk about the position you hold with CNP Performance? My names is James Ernster, President of CNPPerformance Sports Nutrition.  I have worked for CNP in some way, shape, or form since its conception in 1998.

2. What is the history behind CNP Performance?

The history of CNP started in 1998 with an idea of how we can make a better protein than what was out there at the time.  My grandfather, John Ernster and Phil Connolly developed the ProPeptide to be produced for the best of the best atheletes out there.  Propeptide was way ahead of the game then and still is today with its blended formula.  CNP was originally Dorian Yates Approved which after 5 years was changed to CNP Professional after Dorian wanted to do his own thing in the fitness and supplement industry.  From there we were CNP Professional, up in tell a year ago when we changed are name to CNP Performance along with a label change and logo change.    

3. What about CNP Performance that sets apart from any other supplement brand?
Our brand is all about performance and recovery.  CNP ProPeptide is a blended protein with whey protein, micellar casein, and egg protein to make our ProPeptide a true time release protein to stay anti-catabolic repairing muscle.  We have also added probiotics that have been bonded to the micellar casein to help protect the delicate probiotics in the stomach.  You cannot have a great protein without peptide bonded glutamine. Healthy from the inside out with this blend, we want you to not only look healthy, we want you to feel healthy.  Our formula has not changed other than changing the flavors to better the taste.  The blend of proteins has been the same and we do not plan on changing anything unless there is scientific data to back up the change.  

4. What would you recommend to the bodybuilder from CNP?
It would depend on where the bodybuilder is in his or her training, but to get size I would recommend the Propeptide Mass Building Formula with 42 grams of our special protein blend and 84 grams of carbohydrate, with only 1 gram of sugar. Also enhanced with probiotics and peptide bonded glutamine.  I would also recommend the Pro GF as a pre-workout and during, for an amino acid cocktail.  I would also have he or she take a pre-bedtime ProPeptide shake because of the time release protein you will have the nutrients there when you need it.  Between the two products I can guarantee results. 

5. What would you recommend to the athlete that does more full body workouts?
Full body workouts, like crossfit or a combination of cardio and weight lifting is hard on the body.  I would recommend the ProPeptide at least twice a day. Once right after the workout to start the repair process and one shake before he or she goes to bed to finish of the recovery. 

6. What would you recommend to the average person just trying to maintain or lose weight? I would recommend the ProPeptide and the Pro Dessert.  They both have a great blended protein with little carbohydrates. Most people do not get enough protein in their diet, so this is a easy and healthy way to get a high quality protein with added probiotics and peptide bonded glutamine. The healthier the body is the better your body can cope with everyday stresses.  Get health from the inside out. 

7. How do you utilize the product in your busy lifestyle?
I make sure to have at least two Propeptide shakes per day; one in the morning and one in the afternoon.  On training days, I add in the Pro GF as a pre or during a workout amino acid cocktail. If I change it up, it would be with beta alanine, mixed with either a ProSlam or the ProBeta Alanine. This will give me the extra push I need and it helps me keep my focus. 

8. What is the future for CNP Performance? The future for CNP is to continue to make high quality supplements.  We plan on bring out a couple new supplements so keep your eye out for see new great products.

9. Where can someone buy your products? You can find CNP Products in many different avenues from Nutrition shops to online stores like www.bodybuilding.com to our web site www.cnpperformance.com 

10. List all the social media sites you are on: 
 https://www.facebook.com/CNPPerformance
 http://instagram.com/cnpperformance
 https://twitter.com/CNPPerformance/
 www.cnpperformance.com