Monday, October 26, 2015

When I need you.

My greatest mentor once told me that "when you build your friendships, keep in mind that these are people you are going to need in your future, treat them like you would a garden." 

I need you guys to remember this while I tell my story.

A long time ago while I was competing for past pageants, I had a hard time fitting in because of my stature and being the new girl didn't help either. I tried to make friends, but was super intimidated. When I reached out, many times girls were incredibly helpful, but there were a few who would boldly make it a point to not even acknowledge me. They would ignore me, ask me embarrassing questions, act better then, and so fourth. 

10 years later after many invites to parties, events and social gatherings I started to notice a pattern. Every time this particular person would reach out, it was generally to gain some kind of self gratification or something which wouldn't involve a collective collaboration. A recent conversation asked about the coordination of a fitness competition, in which the details they wanted from me were not understood, so I offered a consulting fee. Seems like the proper thing to do since I was working. 

From that I gained a full understanding of what passive aggressive behavior was and was subliminally told that I had terrible character and a terrible life. 

I didn't take it personally, but for someone who only contacts me when they need me for something and doesn't build any fruitful relationships; I'm kinda confused as to who has the terrible life and terrible character.

Referring back to what my mentor had said, gardening your relationships has to do with pulling out the weeds as well as feeding and watering your flowers. Take care of the friends that make your life beautiful, not the ones who are the pest.

1 comment:

Brian said...

Good blog. Yeah, who needs fair weather friends like the ones in your story. It's better to filter them out of your life now.