Rejection is not failure; it's feedback.

     I applied to a casting call for a spokes model position for an online supplement store. I needed to memorize lines, and I would be prompted to speak as if I was speaking with a potential customer, which would be simulated when a customer visited the website. I was a bit surprised when they called me in, as they were asking for a blonde; but without hesitation I let them know I would be there with a skip in my step.

     As always, I was 30 minutes early to the audition; checked in with the secretary at the front and waited for my turn. Sitting in the waiting room, I cracked open my third meal of the day, hoping I can get some food in my stomach before the audition. Literally as the hard-boiled egg touched my lips, a door was thrust open, with the client greeting me with a smile and indication to come in. I hurriedly grabbed my food and stuffed back in a bag and followed him to a room with a camera and a few lights with a white background.

As I reached for the prompt, I also reached for my glasses. 
     He asked, “Do you always wear glasses?” 
     “Only when I read.” I said playfully, not letting my high energy down. 
     “That’s not the look I am going for,” as he motioned for me to take off my glasses.

     Immediately, all that fun-loving energy I saved for this reading turned into feelings of nervousness and led to a stale read. My eye jumped from word to word and I mispronounced Halodrol, like 6 times. I wasn’t feeling the read, even though I faked it as best I could. All the while, I assumed that he didn’t want me to represent his brand. The worst part was, I knew I was not being the best I could be while I was actively doing the read.

     Normally after having a bad audition / read, I would obsess about how I had messed up, contemplated what I could have done differently, all the myriad ways this was going to be an epic failure, etc. But this time I did something different; for once I took the time to reach out and write a follow up letter to him. I made sure I thanked him for the opportunity and asked what I could do to improve. 

     What came back was something I never expected, because I was to fearful to ask for input. He wrote back a structured improvement list, as well as what he liked about me and my personality. The best part about following up with him, was that I felt 10 times better about my performance than I normally would. 

     Asking for feedback can be brutal for anyone, more so when you feel like you have mastered your craft. I have a tendency to wallow in uncertainty, and I often will swallow my pride, in an attempt to avoid rejection. But through the years, I have finally reached a level of self-awareness, to ask for what I can do to be better, so that I can be on top of my game and the very best I can be. This isn’t just a lesson for how to succeed as a model, or a spokesperson, but a lesson for all aspects and walks of life. Don’t lie to yourself and think you can’t do better – you can always do better, you can always improve. Keep striving to be the best ____ you can be (whatever you fill in that blank). That is how success is achieved.

Model Stigma

Only once in my life have I physically gone up to a girl and asked “please tell me you’re agency represented…” She was about 6’2”, dusky blonde natural hair, 19 years old, and rubbed her elbows like she was tired of hearing what I said, as she must have got it all the time. “Yes, I am.” Suddenly, I felt like I was adding more to her insecurities, so I forcefully replied, “Great!” and continued with my Thai dinner at the restaurant she was working at.

Recently, I was working an in-store promotion selling the new brew by Sam Adams for the fall season. I was wearing a black mini skirt and heels, standing next to a shabby table with product in the front of Vons, with a toy witch hanging over my head. Everyone who walked by had an opinion of my physical attraction, but once I started to ramble about the product, it seemed like I didn’t have to work that hard to sell it. The next day, I had the same promotion. I had a pair of capris on and flats… not one person was interested in hearing what I had to say. 
In the gym, after my work out, while in the lockers, I was approached by someone telling me “OMG, you SHOULD model!” Almost so loudly that it makes me the gawking object in the ladies locker room, where many glare with jealousy. It doesn’t feel good and I did nothing to deserve that.

I don’t flaunt what I do. When I meet someone, they don’t know I am part model, part competitor, and part athlete. The friends that I made which are not part of my network, are friends I did not initially give my ‘label’ to. My industry friends that I have made, are either just as boring as I am or just as hard working.

I still stumble on what to say to people I meet (like Wil’s family or other business professionals) when they ask me, “What do you do for a living?” When I say I am a model, I can see they are immediately applying any stigma they have been exposed to in their lifetime to my 15 years of experience. Usually it is either, A) I get everything for free, or B) I take my clothes off for anyone who has a camera.

No one knows about the countless hours driving to castings, or (if I am lucky enough) gigs, in traffic, nor do they look at the fact that I rarely get picked for castings because I am not “American Made” or fit the typical LA mold.

Back to my original statement: stop with the “you should be a model” statements to girls. I know my photos portray a stupid social stigma that is unrealistic to live up to, I get it. That’s what I know. After I grew up, I realized, it’s just work. But that image of me looks nothing like I do in real life; and this is true for most models that are in the industry, unless they have F-U money. Besides, let’s stop giving false hope to girls about making money off their looks, otherwise they are going to be sitting on a casting couch with some dirty dude, asking themselves, “Am I pretty enough?” I know I don’t want to contribute to another women not feeling good enough.

Ladies, if anyone comes up to you and tells you, “You SHOULD be a model!” ask them why they think that. I bet you it isn’t because of you ravishing love for good horror stories or your hyper understanding of mathematics. No. Visually you please the (most specifically, their) eye… Nothing more.

Models like myself have made the mistakes and have the experience for you. Hold yourself to a higher standard, girls. Get away from the titty and booty selfies that get a crap ton of likes and contribute to your nasty self-obsession. Because that will eventually get old until the next girl with a skinner waist and bigger booty posts something naughtier. Post something funny. Post about your books. Hell, don’t post at all. Stop looking for other people to like you and how you look. Like yourself, as you are. Be brave enough to make your own decisions about what your fate is to be. Fail. Who cares? Just don’t let someone stroke your ego and fall victim to it. Likes don’t buy happiness.

 

Don't trip, with these Fall tips!

With fall approaching quickly (it’s already here!) , along with the ramped sprees of shopping, it is a little fearful to come up with how to maintain diet and exercise with the Halloween treats, Thanksgiving dinners, or the Christmas goodies! If you have a family or a schedule like mine, you will have plenty of parties to test your will power.

Here are some steps to follow when attempting to stay on the path of your goals:

1.       Don’t starve yourself: During the holidays, you may feel if you skip breakfast and lunch that it would be okay to have all your calories at the feast of dinner time. NO! Continue your path of 4-6 meals and by the time you reach dinner, you won’t feel the need to over indulge.

2.       Water, lots and lots of it: 70% of the body consist of water. Fill it up! When you’re dehydrated, naturally your body tells you with sweet or salty cravings. When you feel that, go for the water if you have already ate. Water is also essential for brain development and recovering internal and external cells. It’s a good way to work on that summer glow during the cold months.

      3.       Portion control: It’s ok to eat that small piece of candy. When you have amounts of treats that can fill a bathtub, that’s where you have problems. Continue your meals with veggies, proteins and complex carbs. My mother’s chocolate pudding pie is amazing during the holidays, but depending on where my goals are, I’ll make sure that I eat it responsibly. Given the fact that I can eat a whole pie myself.

4.       Move more: staying inside and toasty next to a fire is a lot more comforting than walking outside when it is chilly. When I get too content with snuggling, I feel sluggish and lazy, along with my pup. A brisk walk or jog 30 minutes a day will help keep the blood flowing, joints lubricated, and help stabilize metabolism.

 

5.       Stay motivated: working out in groups of people or letting friends know your goals is a great way to help you stay focused. Also, writing down your set goals and repeating them twice a day also helps maintain focus. Every morning I use prayer as a channel with my goals to God. My prayer goes as follows. “Father, let me be the best light I can be for the darkness. Not only for me to gain success, but to be an example to those who may be struggling. Allow me to accomplish my goals by doing (X,Y,Z…) today.” This theory can also be applied to meditation or attraction.

CNP Athletes (L-R): Gene Amoguis, Chantal Nugent Amoguis, Matt "Mo Hookups", James Ernster, Evina Luna, Nate Koch

Some days are better than others, and that is ok. The most important thing to remember is keep trying and continue to practice changing or keeping your habits.