Model Stigma

Only once in my life have I physically gone up to a girl and asked “please tell me you’re agency represented…” She was about 6’2”, dusky blonde natural hair, 19 years old, and rubbed her elbows like she was tired of hearing what I said, as she must have got it all the time. “Yes, I am.” Suddenly, I felt like I was adding more to her insecurities, so I forcefully replied, “Great!” and continued with my Thai dinner at the restaurant she was working at.

Recently, I was working an in-store promotion selling the new brew by Sam Adams for the fall season. I was wearing a black mini skirt and heels, standing next to a shabby table with product in the front of Vons, with a toy witch hanging over my head. Everyone who walked by had an opinion of my physical attraction, but once I started to ramble about the product, it seemed like I didn’t have to work that hard to sell it. The next day, I had the same promotion. I had a pair of capris on and flats… not one person was interested in hearing what I had to say. 
In the gym, after my work out, while in the lockers, I was approached by someone telling me “OMG, you SHOULD model!” Almost so loudly that it makes me the gawking object in the ladies locker room, where many glare with jealousy. It doesn’t feel good and I did nothing to deserve that.

I don’t flaunt what I do. When I meet someone, they don’t know I am part model, part competitor, and part athlete. The friends that I made which are not part of my network, are friends I did not initially give my ‘label’ to. My industry friends that I have made, are either just as boring as I am or just as hard working.

I still stumble on what to say to people I meet (like Wil’s family or other business professionals) when they ask me, “What do you do for a living?” When I say I am a model, I can see they are immediately applying any stigma they have been exposed to in their lifetime to my 15 years of experience. Usually it is either, A) I get everything for free, or B) I take my clothes off for anyone who has a camera.

No one knows about the countless hours driving to castings, or (if I am lucky enough) gigs, in traffic, nor do they look at the fact that I rarely get picked for castings because I am not “American Made” or fit the typical LA mold.

Back to my original statement: stop with the “you should be a model” statements to girls. I know my photos portray a stupid social stigma that is unrealistic to live up to, I get it. That’s what I know. After I grew up, I realized, it’s just work. But that image of me looks nothing like I do in real life; and this is true for most models that are in the industry, unless they have F-U money. Besides, let’s stop giving false hope to girls about making money off their looks, otherwise they are going to be sitting on a casting couch with some dirty dude, asking themselves, “Am I pretty enough?” I know I don’t want to contribute to another women not feeling good enough.

Ladies, if anyone comes up to you and tells you, “You SHOULD be a model!” ask them why they think that. I bet you it isn’t because of you ravishing love for good horror stories or your hyper understanding of mathematics. No. Visually you please the (most specifically, their) eye… Nothing more.

Models like myself have made the mistakes and have the experience for you. Hold yourself to a higher standard, girls. Get away from the titty and booty selfies that get a crap ton of likes and contribute to your nasty self-obsession. Because that will eventually get old until the next girl with a skinner waist and bigger booty posts something naughtier. Post something funny. Post about your books. Hell, don’t post at all. Stop looking for other people to like you and how you look. Like yourself, as you are. Be brave enough to make your own decisions about what your fate is to be. Fail. Who cares? Just don’t let someone stroke your ego and fall victim to it. Likes don’t buy happiness.